Insurance????

Sometimes I wonder why we even bother having insurance, but then again I a very thankful for it..... Hubby is just really having a difficult time trying to walk again. Both ankles hurt badly and his legs hurt after he tries to walk. He wants to walk so bad that he is pushing himself too far, but I no matter how hard I try he will do what he wants.... :( anyone with a husband knows exactly what I mean!!!!!!! The home health PT guy came by and pretty much told us the insurance will not pay for it anymore. I will not be able to take him when I go back to work. Hubby knows the exercises and is very determined to get better, but I just felt better knowing someone else was coming to help him........

I just love him so much it is just killing me to see him in pain and so desperate to regain some sort of "normal" in his life. He is just miserable sitting a home not being able to do anything. It is so hard to believe the wreck was September 29th! Some days it feels like it has been forever, but most days it seems like just yesterday.... or at least emotional it seems like yesterday. I have realized over the past few days just how much this has changed me as a person. My emotional state is nothing like it was... I am not sure how good or bad that it is LOL. I can honestly say I am a completely different person!!!! I just haven't figured out how to deal with that person. I know that doesn't make any sense to all of you, but I just don't know how else to explain it. I just don't feel like "me" anymore. I have become a different "me". I don't want others to be offended or think I am being mean or stop liking me because of my decisions and thinking on things, but unfortunately some have. Especially those I work with and some that I am sad to say "were" my friends. Hubby and I have had to make some very difficult decisions that haven't made others happy and others don't understand why, but we do and we did what God directed us to do. I ask for your prayers that I will be strong and understanding for hubby. I just want to cry most of the time. Some days I just can't bare the thought of having to get up and face the day. Then I roll over and see my miracle beside me in bed and realize quickly how blessed and thankful I am. Even though I cry at the drop of a hat! I can honestly finally admit that I hate what happened to my family. I wish it never happened! I am mad about it, but being mad doesn't and will not get me anywhere. I just feel like I am walking through this cloud and I just can't find and opening. Please pray for me.

I am going back to work Monday, December 1st. I don't know how I will be able to handle it, but I know that God will be there each step of the way. Please pray for hubby as this will all on his on (which he is still not independent, but I can't afford to take anymore time off due to bills and other things). I hate that I am having to leave him knowing he will struggle all day alone. It just breaks my heart and makes me feel like I am abandoning him.... :(:(:(:(

Thank you for letting me vent! I hope to write about good news next time....

I wish each of you a wonderful Thanksgiving. We all have so much to be thankful for.......

To my sweet friend Karri- You mom is smiling so big because she knows how wonderful you are going to make this Thanksgiving..... You are just like her! :)


I love you all