about me time

I finally just broke down Saturday! It would have been my precious grandfathers 83 rd birthday.... I miss him so much. My emotions are shot and I just wanted to go out and do something and not have to cook, clean, or really "take care" of anything. I just wanted to do something because "I" wanted to. Selfish you say, well yes you are correct. But I must say that I deserve just a few minutes to be selfish or I am going to completely go insane! Don't get me wrong I am so thankful that I have my hubby and kids and hubby is getting better and tries to do all he can, but between going back to work and having to deal with that stress and then coming home and having( but mostly wanting ) to take good care of everything there I am drained! So hubby said we could go out wherever I wanted to and do whatever I wanted to..... :) and that we did! It was wonderful and I feel so much better.. crazy I know but I just needed it!



I am still trying to deal with the guilt of not being home to help hubby, however I must say way to go to him b/c he has really started to be able to take care of himself and that makes me feel better. My kids are amazing...... I knew they were but throughout this situation I see it so much more. Anything I ask them to help me with or do they are quick to say yes ma'am and get right on it! Thank you Lord for Big T and TG. They are a true blessing. Hubby has been walking great with his walker. It is hard for him to get around at the house because our doorways are not wide enough so he has to turn the walker sideways and that makes thing more difficult. He has been using his walker anytime we go somewhere... GREAT JOB BABY I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!
We go to the specialist on this Thursday to have his hand looked at. We know that something else needs to be to it, we just do not know to what extent.

Big T is growing up so fast..... he is such a cutie and those big baby blue eyes... well you know what I mean! He has been mentioning a certain "friend" of the opposite sex a good bit. But as he informs me everyday SHE IS JUST HIS FRIEND..... lol got to love it! I gave him a hard time about it.......he needed a present to take to school so we got a gift card to Walmart. But amazingly we had to get another one last night because he wants to give his girl "friend" a present also...... sounds like he is sweet on her to me!!!!!! LOL he wouldn't admit it for the world! TOO SWEET!

I must admit that I am not really looking forward to going back to work this week... my coming back has worn off and my kids were horrible on Thursday and Friday of last week!!! I told them to go home and find my sweet babies and make sure they came to school next week! LOL I know they are excited about Christmas and I can't blame them. I just see the bigger picture and it worries me. I have (for the first time in my teaching career) 2 that are failing more than more subject! It hurts me to the bone, but I can't MAKE anyone learn. They have to want to and right now they just don't want to..... I have some others that are failing at least one subject.... I just don't understand why they have fallen off the deep end! Worst part is they just don't care.... I have tried talking to them to see what I need to do to help them but they just shut down and don't care! No fun :( Hopefully this week will go by without any major issues!

I wish each one of you a wonderful CHIRSTmas. My love to all........